Borderline: 10 Signs of Personality Disorder

Emotional and unstable: This is borderline.

People suffering from borderline syndrome tend to have intense mood swings. Small triggers usually change the mood entirely within a few moments. It is an emotionally unstable personality disorder that usually begins in adolescence and peaks around the age of 20.

Not only do those affected have to struggle with the personality disorder themselves, but those around them also experience intense psychological strain.

People with borderline personality disorder suffer from:

• severe mood swings
• lack of impulse control
• unstable social relationships

People with a borderline disorder are very clingy, quickly feel offended and rejected and tend to break off contact. They usually have low self-esteem, and their self-image is unbalanced and subject to fluctuations. Self-damaging behaviour, such as scratching, is also a common trait.

1. Emotional roller coaster: rapid changes in mood

People with borderline personality disorder switch quickly between different emotions and moods. Usually, these are phases characterized by:

• Angst
• dejection
• strong excitability or anger
• Despair

Little things can affect the mood of those who cannot control their emotions. Rapid mood swings are common. These violent mood swings cause an inner tension that those affected find very distressing. Many also experience feelings of shame, guilt, or self-loathing.

1. Intense but unstable relationships

Mood swings are common in romantic and interpersonal relationships. From cloud nine, those affected quickly fall to earth. The person opposite is either praised to the skies in an idealizing way or is the “very last thing” and is pushed away. A sudden loss of contact follows. Affected people often long for closeness and security on the one hand and are very afraid of it on the other hand – for example, they break off contact out of self-protection.

Escalating arguments and exaggerated reactions are the order of the day. Family and partners also suffer from the fluctuations.

2. Unstable self-image

Borderline patients often have self-esteem problems, disturbed body image and identity disorders. They usually do not know who they are and their goals. They lack self-awareness and look for their identity. Autonomous, self-confident and independent behaviour quickly becomes dependent on other people and inner emptiness: self-love and self-hatred alternate.

3. Inner emptiness

Many sufferers experience a chronic feeling of inner emptiness, numbness, unfulfillment and boredom. Sufferers describe it as a feeling of being an empty shell with nothing in it. This feeling is perceived as frightening and hurts self-esteem. To fill this inner emptiness, people with borderline syndrome seek validation, hope that others can fill their emptiness, or resort to strategies such as risky or self-harmful behaviour.

4. Fear of loss

When people with borderline personality are in relationships, they often have an extreme fear of being abandoned. Borderline personalities then make desperate efforts not to be alone and to avoid abandonment.

The constant stress and the associated insecurity cause further inner tension and the resulting problems.

5. Impulsive and harmful behaviour

Those affected are often overwhelmed by the intense feelings and mood swings. They try to relieve stress and tension. Outbursts of anger and self-harming behaviour come into focus to reduce inner tension.

Examples of self-harm include:

• intense sexual behaviour with changing partners
• heavy alcohol and drug use
• binge eating
• Excessive consumption behaviour (addictive shopping) and gambling
• dangerous behaviour, such as driving or engaging in high-risk sports
• shoplifting          

• 6. Self-harm and suicidality

One possible form of self-damaging behaviour is self-injury, for example, by scratching the skin with knives or razor blades or by intentionally inflicting burns. In extreme states of tension, the sensation of pain is often reduced.

(Recurring) suicide attempts or corresponding announcements are also relatively common in borderline syndrome.

7. Loss of reality: dissociation and distorted perception

Those affected may also briefly suffer from dissociative symptoms during severe crises. These express themselves, for example, in the form of a loss of reality.

In the case of dissociation, the perception of the body changes, and a kind of “splitting off” takes place. Those affected feel like they are wrapped in cotton wool or fog, and the outside world is only perceived in a muffled manner. As in a trance, those affected cannot move or speak. Sensations, such as hunger or pain and the sense of time and space, can stop in this phase; optical and acoustic hallucinations are also possible. Memory lapses can occur later.

Conditions that are associated with impaired perception can also occur. The perception of the environment or the affected person appears distorted. These symptoms show up as a perception of the environment as strange and unreal or alienating one’s ego and emotions.

In addition, psychotic symptoms can also appear in short-term phases, such as pathological distrust and paranoid ideas.

8. Toxic relationship

Those affected often struggle with difficulties in romantic relationships. The fear of loss, the degrading behaviour and sudden emotional separations lead to inconstant relationships and quick reconciliations. In addition, people with borderline syndrome tend to manipulate others, for example, by lying. 

For the healthy counterpart, the relationship is often toxic and very demanding. It is essential to be mindful of your needs and seek professional support if needed.

9. Mental problems as concomitant illness

Borderline syndrome is often accompanied by other illnesses, such as depression, anxiety disorders (e.g. post-traumatic stress disorder), eating, obsessive-compulsive or sleeping disorders. Other forms of personality disorders, ADHD or addictions can also occur.