Ending a toxic relationship: 5 tips

A healthy relationship means mutual trust, support, affection and tenderness. In a toxic relationship, one of the partners suffers regularly and sustainably from the emotional connection to the other person. One partner is mostly dependent on the other. Many people know that their relationship is toxic and causes more pain than joy. Recognizing the signs and accepting them are the first steps: Many couples try to work on the relationship together and save it. If this does not work, the toxic relationship should be ended. These 5 tips will help draw the line.

1. Gain distance and take a time-out

You can also be alone: ​​consciously gain distance from your counterpart – in terms of time and space. Try to reflect on your relationship, sort yourself out and define your claims and needs in the relationship. Detach yourself from the opinion and statements of your partner and don’t let your time-out distract you. Realize the importance of spending time alone or with friends and family. How to gain time for yourself:

  • Go for long walks.
  • Find physical distance and visit friends or family.
  • Make time for an old hobby or start something new.

2. Make your own decisions

Autonomy follows distance. Usually the partner makes small and big decisions in everyday life. Become your own boss: Start with so-called “baby steps” – small steps such as an independent appointment with friends or challenges that you can overcome without the help of the other person are a good start.

Remember that you were acting and functioning independently even before the relationship.

3. Reflect

Write down the situations in which you feel uncomfortable. Find the causes of the feeling. Try to reflect on individual points independently, read the diary again. Old pictures and videos also help with reflection. Imagine the moments again. What was nice, where was the mistake?

Think about how you would react as an uninvolved friend and advise the person concerned.

4. Seek support and ask for help

A toxic relationship is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not alone in your desire for a loving partner. The toxic relationship usually only becomes noticeable after the infatuation phase. 

Friends and family are important contacts in order to break away from the toxic counterpart. Talk about your problems and the situation. Counseling centers or therapeutic help can also be used.

5. Leave the toxic environment: find lightness again

Break new ground, take your own steps and break away from your counterpart. Don’t let yourself be manipulated anymore and ignore renewed advance attempts. A clear line and distance are the only right things to end the relationship. Break free from the illusion of relationship and the perfect partner.


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