Jealousy in a relationship: 4 common triggers

Jealousy  is probably part of every romantic relationship. To a certain extent, jealousy is normal in a relationship, but it can also become pathological and detrimental to the relationship. The feeling is then associated with distrust, rivalry, and infidelity. The jealous part of the relationship is insecure, does not feel recognized and loved and demands more affection and time from the partner. Especially third, mostly harmless, people are a thorn in the side of the jealous person. You can read about the four most common triggers of jealousy here.

Jealousy: toxic in every respect

The feeling does not only appear in love relationships. Jealousy can also occur in friendships, families, or at work. Envy and rivalry are normal up to a certain point, if the feeling is too strong, it not only burdens the jealous person themselves, but also the other person experiences the toxic feeling. Pathological jealousy can lead to an imbalance in the interpersonal relationship, to the point of breaking off contact or separation.

The jealous person often cannot defend themselves against the feeling. However, it is important to recognize and understand the triggers of jealousy. If the relationship is solid, this can also be openly communicated to the other person.

1. Fear of loss

The  fear  of losing your partner is often accompanied by jealousy. The jealous person can imagine the love relationship purely with their partner. If the togetherness is disturbed by a third person, the jealous person perceives this as a serious problem or as a lack of love on the part of the partner.

2. Desire for attention

Jealousy occurs especially when the partner feels neglected by the loved one. This devotes more attention to either another person, friends or the hobby.

Such a situation can lead to jealousy if the lovers have different expectations of the relationship. Even in families, jealousy can arise between siblings when attention is unequally distributed.

3. Alleged or actual infidelity

Infidelity or perceived infidelity is a common trigger for jealousy. Jealous people often look for evidence of infidelity, but at the same time hope that the suspicion will not be confirmed. There seems to be a lack of trust in the relationship.

If the partner is actually unfaithful, mourning about the loss of undivided love usually follows.

4. Jealousy as a token of love

For some people, a little jealousy is a sign of love and part of the relationship. However, if it gets the upper hand, it can cause considerable damage to the relationship. The constant confrontation with jealousy can be perceived as a clear sign of distrust by the affected partner, especially in the case of compulsive control and restrictions on one’s own freedom by the jealous person.

Breaches of trust in a past relationship or family can also trigger jealousy. Tip: Couples should address jealousy openly and find a common path. The jealous person should expand the tolerance limit and give their partner freedom and space.